My brother sent this email to me: "My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do."

I've always been a rotten sleeper. My brother also used to be a rotten sleeper but now he says he just waits until 1 am before lying down. Such tricks don't work for me: As soon as I shut my eyes, I'm met with an elaborate display constructed by the Freudian Fireworks Company spelling out the word "Failure".

The moment I put my head on the pillow, I picture myself standing in front of a judge holding an impressive ledger inscribed with every task I've left undone as well as everything I might've done better.