近日，世界衛生組織WHO正在醞釀一項新標準，而新標準的內容主要是，從現在開始，那些因為沒有性生活或找不到對象而不能生兒育女的人可以認定為殘疾，相信很多單身狗聽到這條消息已經心痛得不能呼吸了。

People who don’t have sex or struggle to find a sexual partner to have children with will now be considered as disabled, according to barmy new guidelines set to be announced.
根據世界衛生組織頒布的一項“瘋狂的”新標準，沒有性生活，或者苦于找不到性伴侶來生兒育女的人們或被定義為殘疾。

Until now, infertility - the failure to achieve pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sex - was not considered a disability.
目前，不孕不育并沒有被定義為殘疾，不孕不育指的是在一年以上的規律無保護性生活后仍舊無法懷孕。

But now in dramatic move the World Health Organisation will change the standard to suggest that a person who is unable to find a suitable sexual partner or is lacking a sexual relationship to have children - will now be equally classified as disabled.
但在這次戲劇性的行動中，世界衛生組織將改變這一標準，建議將無法找到合適的性伴侶，或者缺乏性關系去生兒育女的人們也同樣定義為殘疾。

WHO says the change will give every individual “the right to reproduce”.
世界衛生組織表示，這將給每個人“生育權”。

Under the new rules, heterosexual single men and women and gay men and women who want to have children will now be given the same priority as a couple seeking IVF because of medical fertility problems.
按照這一新標準，不論是異性戀單身男女，還是同性戀單身男女，只要想生育后代，遇到醫學上的生育問題時作為伴侶都有同等的優先權借助體外試管受精技術圓夢。

But critics branded the new laws as “absurd nonsense” arguing that the organisation has overstepped the mark by moving into social matters rather than health.
但是批評人士認為這項新法規“可笑無聊”，他們表示世衛組織已經“越界”，從健康領域干涉到了社會問題。

Gareth Johnson MP, former chair of the All Parliamentary Group on Infertility, whose own children were born thanks to fertility treatment, said: “I’m in general a supporter of IVF. But I’ve never regarded infertility as a disability or a disease but rather a medical matter.
英國議會生育問題團體的前主席、議員加里斯-約翰遜說：“我可以說是一個體外試管受精的支持者，但是我從來不認為不育是一種殘疾或一種疾病，它反而是一個醫學問題。”他本人曾借助生育治療生育子女。

“I’m the first to say you should have more availability of IVF to infertile couples but we need to ensure this whole subject retains credibility.
“我首先就說應該更多的利用體外受精技術幫助不育的夫妻，但是我們要保證整個技術項目是正經靠譜的?！?/p>

Josephine Quintavalle, from Comment on Reproductive Ethics added: “This absurd nonsense is not simply re-defining infertility but completely side-lining the biological process and significance of natural intercourse between a man and a woman.
英國公益組織“生殖倫理學評論”的約瑟芬·昆塔瓦萊補充說，“這個愚蠢的說法不只是對不孕不育做簡單的重新定義，而且把生物過程和男女自然交配的意義完全搞亂。”

But Dr David Adamson, an author of the new standards, argued it is a “big chance” for single and gay people.
但新標準的作者大衛-亞當森博士認為，這對單身人士和同性戀人士來說是“大機遇”。

He said: “The definition of infertility is now written in such a way that it includes the rights of all individuals to have a family, and that includes single men, single women, gay men, gay women.
他說：“不孕不育的定義這樣編寫，就涵蓋了所有單身人士生育子女的權利，這其中包括單身男女，也包括同性戀男女。”

***網友們看到這則新聞，紛紛坐不住了……***

OK, wonderful - can I now have a disability allowance please?---chassummer
“太好了，我現在能領殘疾津貼了嗎？”

So, if a minger asks you out and you reject them - are you now guilty of a 'hate crime'?--FedUP
那么，如果有丑八怪想和你約會，被你拒絕，這算不算“仇恨犯罪”？

I think most of these so called experts need time in a nut house!!!---johnjames
我覺得大多數所謂的“磚家”都需要被關進瘋人院！??！

The more older I get the more I feel that the world has gone mad.---Saigon Sam
年齡越大，越覺得這個世界瘋了。

This is great news! Now I can get one of those blue badges for disabled parking!!!---TraceyE
好消息！我也可以去領個藍徽章，把車停到殘疾人車位了。

I'm a 26 year old virgin. I have suffered my whole life..please someone cure me!---kramer911.
我已經“殘疾”了26年，求治愈。

I must be the most retarded person in Britain then :)---HughJanus1
我一定是全英國最蠢的人了。

Darwin is confused.---ParkerLewis
達爾文都被搞暈了。

英文來源：英國每日快報
翻譯&編審：yaning