(Getty)

James Milner, England

Milner often gets made fun of for being supremely bland. There's even a very popular "Boring James Milner" parody Twitter account. The real James Milnerclaims to be on the hunt for the person behind this account, but this obviously is just a cover. He's actually been carefully cultivating this image for years, biding his time until he shows up for a match wearing an anthem jacket made of ears and does things with the ball that make the Brazilians look like baby giraffes trying to stand for the first time. He will make Salvador Dali seem unimaginative and square. You have been warned.

詹姆斯·米爾納（James Milner），英格蘭

米爾納經(jīng)常因?yàn)樽约撼?jí)沉悶而被取笑，甚至有個(gè)很受歡迎的，專(zhuān)講“無(wú)聊的詹姆斯·米爾納”段子的虛假推特賬號(hào)，米爾納宣稱(chēng)自己正在追蹤這個(gè)號(hào)碼的真實(shí)身份，但這只是一個(gè)笑談罷了。實(shí)際上，米爾納多年來(lái)一直用心營(yíng)造這一形象，在上場(chǎng)穿上球衣之前一直厚積薄發(fā)，并且他很遵從教練，在場(chǎng)上用足球讓巴西人看起來(lái)如剛出生試圖站立的小長(zhǎng)頸鹿般柔弱。他會(huì)讓?zhuān)ㄎ靼嘌乐F(xiàn)實(shí)主義畫(huà)家）薩爾瓦多·達(dá)利（Salvador Dali）看起來(lái)缺乏想象力且墨守成規(guī)。做好思想準(zhǔn)備吧。

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